


five nearlys + one time they actually do

by untiltheveryend



Series: another daisy chain [4]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Five Plus One, Implied sexy times, lots of kissing and touching and things, one tiny appearance by LaFerry and Kirsh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 13:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2695172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untiltheveryend/pseuds/untiltheveryend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They love each other so much that sometimes, it feels a little like they are both drowning in it. </p><p>For two weeks, everything is fragile.</p><p>And then Carmilla reaches out, just a hand against a cheek, but it feels like a lot more than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	five nearlys + one time they actually do

**Author's Note:**

> there is no excuse for any of this. none at all.
> 
> all the thanks in the world go to the wonderful [geoclaire](http://geoclaire.tumblr.com/), who beta-read this. every time there isn’t a spelling mistake, think of her.
> 
> this is not my sandbox, i’m only playing.

1.

The first time, they’re just kissing. Only _just_ is definitely the wrong word, because kissing Carmilla isn’t _just_ at all. 

It’s the kind of kissing that is making them both breathless, and neither of them is pulling away, and Laura’s hands are skimming their way under Carmilla’s shirt like they have a will of their own, and-

Carmilla’s breath hitches, and it sounds wrong to Laura’s ears, and she pulls away to get a look at Carmilla’s face, and-

She’s crying.

Damp eyelashes, wet cheeks.

Laura sucks in a sharp breath, and Carmilla just - just curls in on herself.

And then Laura is pushing back in close, wrapping Carmilla in her arms, shushing her, swiping away her tears with the pads of her thumbs.

‘Carm, it’s okay. It’s alright,’ she murmurs.

Carmilla simply curls into her, cries in a way that makes something ache in Laura’s chest.

It’s all the reply she gets.

 

(Later, Carmilla showers. Laura puts on her coziest pyjamas and they fall asleep together in Laura’s bed, face to face.

They don’t really talk about it.)

 

 

2.

After that, everything gets fragile all over again. Laura just isn’t sure, she isn’t sure if she’s allowed to touch anymore, isn’t sure if she should. 

She isn’t sure if she trusts Carmilla to tell her when it isn’t okay. 

They love each other so much that sometimes, it feels a little like they are both drowning in it. 

For two weeks, everything is fragile.

And then Carmilla reaches out, just a hand against a cheek, but it feels like a lot more than that. 

Carmilla kisses her, and it feels like falling. And all Laura can hope is that they catch each other before it’s too late. 

 

 

3.

It all gets a little easier after that, as these things are wont to do. 

There are times when Laura wishes that what she has with Carmilla could be easy. There are times when easy seems close enough to taste.

Times like this, when Carmilla is pushing her up against the inside of the door she just slammed shut, and pressing their mouths in a way that makes Laura’s knees turn to jelly.

When she can let her hands roam, and not worry about anything apart from the fire under her fingertips. 

They’re pressed so close that Laura can feel Carmilla’s ribs through both shirts, and it’s like tug-of-war by kissing. It pulls them apart just as fast as it puts them together, like a balance that neither of them fully understands.

And then their mouths part, because Laura needs air, and Carmilla is kissing her jaw, kissing her collarbone, kissing her neck-

She hates that she flinches.

She hates that it pushes Carmilla away.

‘Shit, sorry,’ Laura gasps, automatically reaches out to keep Carmilla close. 

‘No, I shouldn’t have-’ Carmilla’s eyes are dark, like they always are when she’s upset.

Laura tugs Carmilla closer, rests their foreheads together.

‘Stop. It’s fine,’ she tells her.

Carmilla nods, and it’s hesitant, but it feels like a small victory. 

 

 

4.

The next time, there is all sorts of intent. They start slow, and they both have their eyes wide open, and it’s breathy and kind of beautiful.

Laura keeps it that way for far too long, balls her hands into fists and kisses like that’s all she’ll ever need or want.

So this time, it’s Carmilla who slides her hands up Laura’s back, tastes shivers with the palms of her hands. It’s Carmilla who slips fingertips under the band of Laura’s bra, and then swallows down her gasp.

Which is when Laura lets herself go, fists her hands in Carmilla’s shirt and presses close.

Carmilla’s hiked Laura’s shirt up so it’s all bunched under her arms, and now she splays a cool hand over Laura’s stomach, and it’s all Laura can do not to whimper.

Her senses are consumed by Carmilla; her taste, her smell, her skin cool against Laura’s. It’s intoxicating, overwhelming. It’s everything she wants. And then -

And then the door to their room opens with a slight crash, and a flood of light and voices spills into the room. 

LaF, Perry and Kirsh, all talking at once about - curling? Laura can’t quite bring herself to focus on the chatter, concentrates instead on pulling away from Carmilla, tugging her shirt down.

‘Hey, guys?’ She asks, plaintively. ‘Remember how we talked about knocking when the door’s closed?’ 

‘Sorry, Laura,’ LaF says, with an expression that is half chastised and half shit-eating-grin. Perry looks scandalized, and Kirsh looks - worryingly excited. Laura just hopes it’s about the curling.

She sighs, and turns back to Carmilla, whose expression is one of deep annoyance. She leans in with a sigh and kisses her nose. 

‘Another time,’ she promises. 

 

 

5.

Laura wakes up to kisses pressed against her temple, her cheek, the bridge of her nose. There is something frantic in the movements, enough to make her heart race.

‘Wha-’ she starts, but the rest of her words get swallowed by Carmilla’s mouth on hers.

The kiss is frantic, and somewhat lopsided. Laura feels like she is scrambling to keep pace, has to twist her hands into Carmilla’s hair to ground herself.

When Laura pulls back for air, it isn’t her breath that is ragged.

‘Carm?’ She asks, cautiously. ‘Hey, what's wrong?’

Carmilla just shakes her head, curls up so her face is buried in Laura’s stomach.

Laura spends the rest of the time until the sun rises murmuring promises and combing her fingers through Carmilla’s hair, working out the tangles.

By the time the sun rises, Carmilla is asleep.

 

 

+1.

Laura is never quite sure who started it. Maybe she did, or maybe Carmilla, or maybe it was somewhere in the middle. 

They’re in Carmilla’s bed, and it’s a lights-off night. 

They fall together like this is what was meant to happen all along. Like up until now, they’d been doing something inexplicably wrong, and this time, everything is perfect.

She still has to be sure.

‘Hey, hey. Carm,’ she says, and it’s breathy but she gets it out, which she is honestly proud of.

Carmilla mumbles something, muffled where her mouth is pressed against Laura’s bare skin. Laura takes it as an indication she’s listening.

‘Are we- is this. Is this okay?’ 

It’s like she hit a pause button. Everything becomes entirely still.

Carmilla’s nose is pressed against her collarbone, which feels like it should be awkward, but the press of lips against her skin makes her shiver in spite (because) of it all.

She would pull away, right now, if that’s what Carmilla wanted.

‘It’s okay,’ Carmilla says, and her voice is so, so rough.

Laura doesn’t think she’s ever heard anything more beautiful.

 

(Afterwards, Laura asks for cuddles, and Carmilla laughs. They tangle themselves together under the covers, and they’re face to face, so Laura gets to watch as Carmilla’s eyelashes blink lazily. Gets to lean in and brush their lips together as often as she likes.

‘I’m really glad we... ’ Laura blushes, and Carmilla smiles.

‘Me too,’ she mumbles, and it sounds like a confession.

‘Really really?,’ Laura asks, ‘Because you know we didn’t have to.’

Carmilla hitches in a breath, and it’s a habit that Laura never gets tired of.

‘Really.’

‘Why did you- you don’t have to tell me, but why did you pull away. Before.’ 

Carmilla looks down, reaches to fit their hands together, intertwine their fingers. 

‘You scare me, cupcake,’ she says, voice low. ‘It’s been a long long time since I’ve done the whole love thing.’

Another pause.

Laura wants a hundred things. Wants to say that if anyone was nervous it should be her, wants to ask what changed, wants to kiss Carmilla till the end of the world.

Instead, she goes with, ‘I love you.’)


End file.
